Christmas Day

The 25th December felt like any other day. Of course, even back home I no longer wake fitfully throughout the night in eager anticipation of a crackly, bulging stocking hanging by the fireplace with a half eaten mince pie and empty sherry glass on the hearth. Yet this year didn't even bring back a hint of that childhood excitement which is evoked at the sight of baubles and the familiar smell of pine needles and Christmas lunch. This year it was decidedly not Christmas. There were no decorations, piles of presents, the sound of laughter from the kitchen, a white table cloth, a roaring log fire, the cat asleep amongst sheets of torn wrapping paper, champagne or Marks and Sparks nibbles.

There was however, a half bottle of Bombay Sapphire gin, some faded memories of recorder recitals around the tree in front of merry relatives and thankfully, a copy of 'Bad Santa' on DVD. (I couldn't get my favourite version - the X-rated 'Badder Santa'. Perhaps it is unavailable because it would be wasted on the Japanese. There are no swear words in their language, thus the generous helping of extra obscenities in 'Badder Santa' really would be 'lost in translation' so to speak.)

I fixed myself a nice strong cup of tea and snuggled up in bed. I left the curtains closed but the sunshine filtered through the cracks. Merry bloody Christmas. It was 10.30am and after about half an hour of watching the debauched shenanigans of an alcoholic Santa, I wondered if I should make a G&T. I decided to wait until lunch time - figuring that drinking alone on Christmas morning might be taking it a bit too far.

By 2.00pm I was in an 'English' pub in Kichijoji. My co-worker had organised a Christmas lunch for all displaced expats in the Tokyo area. Those who attended were all teachers from my company. There were about 18 of us. I knew about half of them when I arrived and a few more by the time I left at 10.00pm. The deal was, pay 3,500 yen for all you can eat and drink in two hours. Given that I am still vegetarian - the deep fried chicken cartilage and raw horse meat did not tempt me over to the dark side, I chose to go for the 1,700 yen (9 quid) all you can drink option and a basket of fish and chips. The others enjoyed a very festive dinner of chicken wings, fish and chips, cold fajitas and ice-lollies. Needless to say, all were rather disappointed with what was supposed to be 'Christmas dinner'.

Two hours and three pints of beer, a sloe gin, a blackcurrant chu-hai, four G&Ts, two Moscow Mules and a glass of white wine, later, I was having a rather jolly time. People reminisced about Christmases of yore and yule tide family feuds and spoke of what they would be doing if they were at home now (still sleeping). The TV screen opposite our table was playing J-pop MTV videos - not even cheesy Christmas songs. It was rubbish. If we had been in a pub in England we would be listening to Slade and talking to the lonely old man sat at the end of the bar. It just wasn't Christmas. Every now and then someone would point this out - as if I hadn't already noticed. Do I sound bitter? Well, perhaps I am. One thing is for sure - I will appreciate it all the more next year.

There is something about Christmas that makes everyone yearn for magic and family, mince pies and.... PRESENTS! Hmmm. Maybe our depression wasn't caused by the lack of recognition of our beloved Christian festival in an alien culture, but our greed for material goods that we knew everyone else was getting except us. Perhaps it was a bit of both. Everyone seemed to be a little homesick, even if they knew they were only missing out on Aunty Jean getting so drunk on sherry she fell asleep in the dog basket.

As the evening progressed, the group began to shrink in size. A few people went to see the new James Bond film (or zero, zero seven as they say in Japan). One guy went to Shinjuku in search of a real Crimbo dinner. Some went home to boyfriends and girlfriends, meaning that soon it was just Dom from New York, Dan from England and me left. My parents called me. I had sent them plastic food. They said they had mailed me a box of Christmas goodies (it arrived on Boxing Day.) Unfortunately the battery on my phone ran out before I had a chance to finish the conversation. Dom and Dan and I drank a toast our first Christmas in Japan and swore never to do it again.